Mommy Brain

The kids and I finished reading Eragon a couple weeks ago, and we loved it. We devoured the last few chapters, skipping history and science for the morning and reading straight through for two hours. Noah was bouncing on the edge of the couch during the final battle scene, waiting to find out what happened.

Of course, they wanted to watch the movie, so we rented it last Sunday evening. Now, if we had not read the book, we might have enjoyed the film. But since we had, the film was a huge disappointment.

I don’t expect film adaptations of books to be perfect. I know that film-makers are under time constraints and other issues that make cutting things necessary. But I’ve also seen films where the producers/writers/directors have managed to cut the book down to film size without losing much of the character development or major plot points. The Harry Potter movies, for example.

(If you haven’t read Eragon or seen the film and don’t want anything spoiled for you, stop reading. I’m about to go on a rant about how the film managed to take a brilliant book and utterly destroy it.)

The book is a coming-of-age story before it is anything else. Yes, there is a dragon, there is magic, there are elves and dwarves, and the evil Shade. But through the plot, Paolini shows Eragon grow and change. He comes to accept the responsibility that has been placed on him by being a dragon rider. He would much rather go home to the farm and live a normal life, but that path has been closed to him. He has to decide to either run from the evil king Galbatorix – probably for the rest of his life – or join the Varden, the rebellion, and fight for what’s right.

He is guided in this by Brom, an old rider who was chosen by the Elves to train the next dragon-rider. Brom becomes a father-figure to Eragon, training him in sword-fighting, teaching him the ancient language, helping him develop his magic, modelling maturity and wisdom. When Brom dies, it is a devastating event that helps form Eragon’s decision to join the Varden.

Okay, here comes the book vs. movie part.

~When the dragon egg hatches, Eragon feeds her, cares for her, hides her, and peppers Brom with questions about the ancient Riders. He hears about the ancient dragon Sapphira, and decides on this name for his new companion. As she grows she begins to be able to communicate with him through his thoughts. This process takes weeks and weeks. In the movie, when the baby dragon flies for the first time, she is hit by some magical lights and suddenly becomes full-grown. She lands at Eragon’s feet, and announces that her name is Sapphira. At this point, while watching the movie, Noah is looking at me in disbelief, unable to comprehend what they have done to his precious book.

~Brom is a major character – the man who guides Eragon – and he appears through 3/4 of the book. When he dies, it is heart-breaking. In the movie, Brom is only with Eragon for a couple of weeks, so when he dies, it was a major “who-cares?” moment. I was left wondering why they would hire a brilliant actor like Jeremy Irons only to kill him off a half-hour into the movie. There is no character development, no growth in the relationship between Brom and Eragon. Blech.

I could go on and on – Arya, the elf, who in the movie didn’t even have elven ears and who was conscious through her role in the movie even though she was unconscious in most of the book, Murtagh and his desire to avoid the Varden at all costs in the book as opposed to his eagerness to get to the Varden in the movie, etc., etc., etc. Noah, my eight-year-old, who loves all things dragon and fantasy, summed it up, “They really messed it up, Mom.”

I guess what I’m saying is, you should read the book. But if you want to see the movie, then don’t read the book or you’ll be vastly disappointed.

About this past Friday’s women’s overnighter. All in all, I would say I had a good time. There was good teaching, good fellowship, and oh, the food… I also enjoyed leading worship, although doing three complete worship services in less than 24 hours is absolutely exhausting. I came home completely wiped out Saturday afternoon.

Before I can explain the mixed feelings, I have to back up and vent a little bit about this year’s women’s Bible study. Weekly Bible study has been my refuge since we moved here 9 years ago. When I had four under 5-years, I especially relished the time spent with other women and my children safely in the nursery being looked after. I did everything I could to make sure we were there most weeks, in spite of the challenges of getting four little ones ready and out the door by 8:45 a.m.

When we made our decision to leave our old church, I knew I would continue to attend the women’s study. It meets in a woman’s home – not at the church – and there are other ladies from different churches who also attend. It was a comfort to know that, in the midst of all these changes, I could keep this support group. There were some awkward questions about why we had left the church, but those had all passed by the time we broke for the summer. I spent the summer missing the ladies from study and looking forward to starting up again.

Then we started study this fall. The group of women tends to change some each year, as there are usually two studies offered, meeting in different homes. This year the choices were a study on being a godly wife, and a study on the book of Matthew. I chose the Matthew study – cause I’m already a perfect wife, right? Just kidding. Even though the marriage study was a repeat from five years ago, I figured I could use a refresher course. Plus, the teacher happens to be one of my best friends from that church, and this way I can actually see her in person once a week instead of relying on the weekly phone calls that we cram into our schedules.

This year, we have a few new ladies. They are not new to the church, but this is the first year they have committed to Bible study. And for some reason, they have no idea how to behave in a group study. I am not exaggerating! Let me give you a brief play-by-play of last week, and you’ll see what I mean:

I dropped the kids off at the nursery (we have two lovely girls – one currently homeschooled and one a homeschool graduate – who watch our children) at 8:45. Two of these ladies were dropping their kids off at the same time. I headed to the house where study was held. I got there at ten to 9, plenty of time to set up my keyboard and visit for a few minutes. I fully expected these ladies to be right behind me, but when their friend arrived she announced that they had decided to make a latte run before heading to study.

At 9, study begins. At 9:10, the two latte ladies arrive. Now, if they would quietly slip into seats so as not to disturb what was going on, everything would be fine. But, no, they have to make an entrance.

“Ooo, your baby’s getting so big – and where did you get that adorable purse? I need one of those!”

“Sorry we’re late! Had to have our caffeine fix, you know!”

At this point, Terry (my friend and the teacher) tried to get everyone back on task. She continued on with announcements, prayer, and discussion of last weeks’ homework. During this time, not one, not two, but three different cell phones ring. And none of the cell phones have typical rings – one actually tweets like a bird. And do you think they turned them off quickly and ignored them? Oh, no, they answered them! There was even a phone conversation going on while Terry prayed.

Study continued, interrupted often by the ring-leader of this group of ladies, who likes to be the center of attention. Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t the kind of study where Terry talks and the rest of us just sit quietly and listen. Interaction is encouraged and everyone feels free to give input. But this particular woman’s comments are almost always completely off topic. At one point, in the middle of the study, she actually asked the hostess about her curtains!

Before study was over, we had several more phone calls, all of them answered. Now, I understand the need for mothers to be reachable when their children are somewhere else. The ladies in the nursery have the phone number at the home we meet in and they have a phone right in the nursery. So it’s not like there’s no way we can be reached in case of emergency. So why can’t these ladies turn their phones off for the two hours of study? They’re not doctors or surgeons or police officers. They don’t have jobs outside the home that require them to be “on call”.

I went home from study feeling like my place of refuge had been completely violated. I talked to Terry afterwards, and she mentioned that she had specifically prayed for there to be no distractions this morning. The lesson was on truly leaving all – including our self-centered-ness – to cleave to our husbands. A necessary teaching – one that impacted our marriage in huge ways last time we did this study. (Another story for another day, if you’re interested.) But no one got much out of study, because it was interrupted at least a dozen times by either cell phones or off-topic remarks or side conversations.

Fast-forward to Friday afternoon. Terry and I and the two other ladies in charge of the women’s overnighter are praying. Terry mentions that the same group of ladies will be attending, and that she plans to make a request at the beginning of the first session that all cell phones be either turned off or turned to vibrate, and that there be no side conversations going on that would distract from what was going on. During free time and craft time and at night, cell phones were fine – just not during the session time.

There was some good-natured complaining, but all of the ladies turned their phones to vibrate, and I thought we were off to a good start. But the center-of-attention lady still manages to be loud and make lots of comments that keep people from concentrating. We had lots of visiting time and some fun ice-breakers, but every time we tried to come back to the more serious teaching and testimony time, she could not get settled down. I seriously felt like we were dealing with my 7-year-old. Then, in the middle of one woman’s beautiful testimony of how her life changed because of grace (our theme was Grace-filled Living), center-of-attention jumped up and announced that she had to leave. Apparently her husband had been calling her over and over again (she had left the room to answer her vibrating phone a couple times) and that he was having trouble getting their youngest to bed and he wanted her to come home. I felt sorry for her (and very grateful for my husband, who has never asked me to come home early from a women’s retreat, even when the kids were sick), but she basically threw a fit, disrupting the entire time. She threw her notebook down on a table, and stomped into the kitchen, gathering her things. Her phone again rang, and she answered it in the hallway right next to where we were meeting. We could hear the entire conversation as she basically yelled at her husband. She then stomped back into the room announcing that she couldn’t find her keys. After about 20 minutes of this, she finally left.

I am trying so hard not to be judgmental about her, but this woman is a Christian. She has been for several years. Last week at Bible study she announced that she and her husband will be going into full-time missions work in Quito, Ecuador next year. And all I can think is, “Oh. my. gosh.” Am I just being critical? Am I too picky – do I need to just let things go? Cause I am beginning to dread Bible study and get resentful.

I feel so sorry for Terry, as she has tried the whole “subtle cues” route to let this woman know that she is disrupting things, but she is just not picking up these cues. This leaves Terry having to address the situation head-on, which is not her favorite thing to do. (I don’t know anyone who truly loves confrontation, do you?)

Every week I have prayed for forgiveness over my attitude about these women, and the one in particular, but every week the same things keep happening and my resentment comes back. I don’t want to give up Bible study, but I also don’t want to keep going somewhere that makes me so angry.

I have to say the rest of the overnighter was much more pleasant. Without their “ring-leader,” the rest of these women are pleasant and fun to be around. I think many ladies were ministered to by the testimonies given and the teaching that Terry prepared. I know that is what counts. But what do I do with these feelings of resentment? Any advice would be appreciated.

…to the two women coming out of the 3 p.m. showing of The Illusionist Sunday afternoon:

When exiting a movie, please do not chat loudly about the surprise ending. Those of us waiting in line for the 5:50 p.m. showing would prefer to see the film without the ending spoiled for us.

Sincerely and so forth…

(By the way, the movie was really good, even if I knew what was going to happen.)

Here are a few links before I’m off to make cookies and get ready for company.

~Here’s another news article about how colleges are seeking out homeschooled students.

~The comedy duo Barats and Bereta that were responsible for the So Smooth video and Completely Uncalled For video I shared with you last week have now signed a development deal with NBC. I checked out their web site and found that they are Gonzaga grads from Spokane. Didn’t realize they were local boys. (Please note: I did not check out every video on their site, so surf at your own risk.)

~For all of you Lost fans, Sherry at Semicolon has the most plausible theory I’ve seen so far.

~So, we want the first things people see when they walk into our church to be a cash machine? Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous?

~John Mark Karr has now been cleared of child pornography charges in California. So the Colorado prosecuting attorney’s office extradited a man who is seriously disturbed and a pedophile into the United States – despite the fact that his story did not line up with the JonBenet Ramsey murder facts – and the US has not been able to convict him of anything. Do you think Thailand will welcome him back? I think not. So he will be free in the United States. This terrifies me.

~Christianity Today has come up with a list called The Top 50 Books That Have Shaped Evangelicals. What do you think? Did they get it right? Did they miss any? I have to admit that I haven’t read more than a small handful.

Happy weekend!

….my last posted sounded like I believe my daughter is perfect and the neighbor’s daughter is evil incarnate – I don’t. Natalie is a nice girl, but she isn’t perfect, and I don’t want to come off as one of those moms who thinks the other kids are always at fault. I realize that all kids can be mean at times – Natalie picks on her brothers like the best (or worst) of them – but where this girl is concerned, Natalie always seems to get the worst part of the deal. Anyway, enough about that. I feel better for having got it off my chest.

Busy day! But it’s still Friday here on the west coast for a few more hours, so I guess I’m not too late. Our van was in the shop today, but the repair only cost $59, which was a huge relief! I was half-way expecting one of those oh-by-the-way-the-transmission-is-going-and-it’s-going-to-cost-at-least-a-thousand-dollars-to-fix calls.

Before I get to the announcement and venting, I have a few links to share:

This article at Christianity Today made me wonder how we relate to non-Christians. Do we approach them as the enemy?

This post at Antique Mommy‘s about the myth that older-age parents have more patience made me laugh. Hard.

This comic also tickled my funny bone.

Now, the big announcement:

I have two more Barbie in the Twelve Dancing Princesses DVDs for giveaway! My daughter drew two more names from the commenters on this post, and the winners are….

Gem

…and…

Scrappitydoodah!

Congratulations, ladies! Check the e-mail that you use when commenting for a message from me so I can get your mailing address.

Also, a message for Pennsylvania Progressive: I haven’t received a reply to my e-mail for your mailing address. Please respond by Sunday night or I’ll have to draw another name for your copy of the DVD.

Now for the venting. I am having a very hard time being charitable and Christian toward our neighbors. My daughter Natalie is 9 and likes to play with their daughter (I”ll call her K), who is almost 11. I don’t really like it, but it doesn’t happen very often, so I haven’t made a big deal about it. The age difference has always been a touchy issue, and now that K is in 5th grade in public school, where kids seem to mature so much faster, it’s becoming a huge problem.

Nan was outside playing with K and two other neighborhood girls this evening after dinner. She came running in, upset, because K saw her undershirt strap (which Nan wears when it’s chilly out) peeking out from her shirt and asked if she was wearing a bra. Natalie responded with, “No, I don’t need a bra yet.” K said, “Well, I started wearing a training bra when I was seven because it makes you develop breasts faster.” So Natalie came in to ask us if this is true. This is the last thing I want my 9 year old daughter thinking. She’s 9! She shouldn’t have to worry about things like this. So, I responded with, “No, your body will develop when it’s the right time for you, and nothing you do will make it go any faster.”

She was satisified with my answer and went back outside and told K what we said. K responded with, “Well, that’s not what my doctor and the news says!” Now, K has lied to Natalie before, so this is nothing new. Natalie comes in, crying, because now K is mad at her and is stomping in the house, refusing to play any longer.

We comforted Natalie and told her not to worry about it, as long as she knew what was true. Natalie went back outside to play, only to have one of the other little girls tell her that K said that her mom thought we were (expletive)s and that Natalie stole things from her all the time.

This neighbor is nice and friendly to my face, but I’ve always wonder what her real feelings were. She speaks negatively about most of the other people in our neighborhood, and I always try to change the subject and not listen to it. But I’ve seen her turn around and be sweet as sugar to the very same people she was speaking so horribly about. I take what she says with a grain of salt. But now my daughter is upset and crying in my living room because of it. Natalie was more upset with the fact that K’s mom had called us a bad word than the fact that she accused Natalie of stealing.

Part of me wants to march next door and let the old Mama-bear out, and the other part of me wants to move to the country where we have no neighbors and don’t have to deal with this garbage anymore. Why do people have to be so mean? We homeschool, so I really thought we could avoid stuff like this. It just makes my heart break to have my daughter sobbing in my arms because her feelings are so hurt. When I ask her why she didn’t stand up for herself, she said she’s too worried about hurting K’s feelings! She’s such a sweet girl, who would never purposely hurt someone, and I just want to put a wall around her heart and keep her from experiencing anything like this. But I can’t. And that makes me feel so helpless.

Well, I hate to end on such a downer. I do have a review of Curious George to do, so the next post should be happier. Have a good weekend.

In the last couple days, I have become aware of a site called Bitacle Blog Search Engine. They call themselves a blog search engine, but what they are really doing is stealing complete posts from people’s RSS feeds and re-posting them on their site. They have many posts of mine already up.

I e-mailed Homeschool Journal administrator Andrea, and she installed a new plug-in that automatically puts a copyright on each of my posts on my RSS feed. I encourage all of you here at Homeschool Journal to go into your Plug-ins page and activate this feature. The copyright doesn’t show up on your blog page, but it does on your RSS feed, which is where people like this are stealing the posts from. For anyone who isn’t on Homeschool Journal, you should put a copyright on your site yourself.

I’m hoping that by posting this and drawing attention to the fact that what they are doing is copyright infringement, maybe they will knock it off. I also e-mailed Google about the fact that this site is using Google ads on stolen copyrighted material.

Andrea also posted about this at her site. Their help page states that if you don’t want your blog included, you should stop publishing an RSS feed. If you do that, nobody can read your blog through Bloglines or any other feed service. Just a heads up – do what you can.

Remember how I told you about the broken DVD player, toilet, modem, and stove?

I rise at 5:30 this morning and get my workout in. I get the kids up and ready to go out the door by 8 so we can get our grocery shopping done while town is quiet and then do school when we get home.

My rear passenger tire is flat. Completely flat. If-you-drive-on-this-you’ll-destroy-your-wheel flat. I call Les Schwab (I love that company) and they send out a wonderfully polite young man who fills my tire. The kids and again pile in, intent on heading to Les Schwab first to have the tire checked for a slow leak and then shopping.

My van will not shift out of park. I kid you not. No matter what I try. It starts, but I can’t shift to drive. I’m trying not to cry or let my kids know how frustrated I am. Transmissions are expensive! And Kevin is so stressed out with the added responsibility of this promotion that I didn’t even want to tell him.

He got online and found out that this is simply a safety measure when there is a short in your brake lights or a blown fuse to your brake lights. Instead of a nice little warning light or buzzer, the manufacturer decided it would be better for the whole darn thing to just lock up and freak the owner completely out thinking their transmission is blown.

Sarcasm aside, I am grateful that it is much cheaper to replace wiring or a fuse than a transmission. But pray for my husband. He’s been so stressed about work that he isn’t sleeping well and now he gets to come home tonight and work on our van, which is his absolute least favorite thing to do.

Also, pray that I persevere and that I handle whatever is thrown at me next with grace and humor, rather than frustration and anger. And sarcams. I could always do with less of that.

I have a ton of links to share today, and I was going to put them all in neat little categories, but I don’t have time. So here they are, all hodge podge and pell mell:

~Karen Edmisten has a great post about enjoying our children and appreciating the ages they are right now.

~When I first heard that John Mark Karr was being extradited to the US in spite of the fact that his confession and his whereabouts during the murder were being called into question, my first thought was: if he’s not quilty of JonBenet’s murder, we will have brought a known pedophile to the US and then he will go free. Well, they now know that he did not kill JonBenet Ramsey. Karr will be charged with possession of child p*rnography in California, which carries a maximum sentence of 1 year. One year. And then he will be free. Do you think Thailand will take him back? I don’t.

~Angie Hunt linked to a great hurricane animation that demonstrates the wind speeds and damages incurred by hurricanes, showing the increase in intensity as they progress from a category 1 to a category 5. Makes me glad I live inland.

~How would you like to be baptised in the name of the Mother, the Child, and the Womb? Or maybe the Rock, the Redeemer, and the Friend? Well, if some Persbyterian churches have their way, you’ll be able to. Have they forgotten this: “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” – Exodus 20:7. Saw the article linked at Mark Driscoll’s blog.

~Christianity Today posted an interview with Mike Rich, the screenwriter for The Nativity Story. He’s the same guy who wrote the screenplays for The Rookie, Radio, and Miracle. I’ve never seen Miracle, but we really enjoyed The Rookie and Radio. I am very excited to see The Nativity Story when it comes out in December.

~When you search Books at Google, you can now view the full text of any books that are in the public domain. Just click “Full View Books” before you hit “Search.”

~Carolyn at Guilt Free Homeschooling has a great post on Redeeming a Disaster Day. I haven’t needed it so far this year (we only started on Monday), but I’ll be saving it for later.

~I assume this cartoon is supposed to be slamming homeschooling, but I think it backfires. What do you think?

Whew! That’s it for today’s links. I have two reviews to write and Laney tagged me for the 50 things meme, which I haven’t forgotten, but some of those questions are hard! Have a great weekend.

It seems to me that household item and vehicle breakdowns all happen in waves. Our early summer (and almost $1000) was spent on vehicle repairs – first mine, and then Kevin’s, and then Kevin’s again.

Here’s a run-down of the last two weeks:

~Last week, our modem started going out, causing our DSL connection to slow down like the old dial-up days, and causing much consternation and gnashing of teeth. Ordered a new modem: $100.

~Also last week, our DVD player started acting tired and cranky. It would play the first hour of a movie and then start skipping and freezing. Since we do not have cable, our Netflix subscription and DVD player are a must! (I know, I’m totally spoiled.) New DVD player: $50.

~Tuesday our toilet stopped working. It would flush, but the tank would not refill unless I turned the water main under the toilet off and then back on again. Kevin replaced the float thingy Tuesday after work. Not expensive, but a hassle.

~And now we come to Thursday night. I was in the kitchen, ready to prepare dinner. I turned the oven to the desired temperature and then pushed the Start button. It kept flashing and beeping at me as if I hadn’t pushed it. I tried several times to turn it on and push Start, but nothing happened. Nothing, that is, until the lock light went on and the oven went into self-clean mode – all while the knobs were all turned off! I had to unplug the entire oven to stop it. This happened twice. I finally managed to preheat the oven and put my teriyaki chicken in to cook. Halfway through, the oven started beeping and flashing an error message at me. I turned it off and back on and managed to finish cooking my chicken. I absolutely dreaded telling Kevin that one more thing had gone wrong. After calling the appliance store Friday and being told that new parts to fix that particular error message would cost $315 – not counting labor – we knew we needed to buy a new range. And it was only 8 years old! So Saturday found us shopping for a new oven. $467. Ka-ching!

You want to know the most frustrating part? To me, at least – probably not for Kevin. I scrubbed that darn stove from top to bottom just last week. It’s the cleanest it’s been in five years and it’s now sitting in our back yard waiting for the next trip to the dump.