Mommy Brain

Field Trip To Niagara Falls by “Geronimo Stilton”
Monster Blood II by R. L. Stine
The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Field Guide, Book 1 by Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black

Ready, Freddy! Yikes! Bikes! by Abby Klein

Never Mind by Avi and Rachel Vail
The Vile Village (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 7) by Lemony Snicket
The Chinese New Year Mystery (Nancy Drew Notebooks #39) by “Carolyn Keene”
The Chocolate-Covered Contest (Nancy Drew Digest, Book 151) by “Carolyn Keene”
The Hostile Hospital (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 8 ) by Lemony Snicket
The Liberation of Gabriel King by K. L. Going

Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends by Sarah, Stephen, and Grace Mally
Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
Eldest by Christopher Paolini (to Noah)
Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke
The Mother-Daughter Book Club by Heather Vogel Frederick
Jotham’s Journey: A Storybook for Advent by Arnold Ytreeide

Carol at Magistramater has created a meme since yesterday was the birthdate of three famous authors. I am, of course, a day late, but I decided to participate anyway.

The November 29 Birthday Meme
(Louisa May Alcott, C.S. Lewis, Madeleine L’Engle)

Answer for one, both, or all authors.

1. What was the first [Alcott, Lewis, L’Engle] book you read?

Little Women
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
A Wrinkle in Time

2. If you could be a [Alcott, Lewis, L’Engle] character for a day, who would you be?

Probably Jo from Little Women, but then I’d tell Laurie yes! Especially Laurie as played by Christian Bale.

3. Do you prefer [Alcott?, Lewis, L’Engle]’s fiction or nonfiction?

I’ve never read any of Alcott’s non-fiction - did she write any? For Lewis, probably non-fiction, but it’s really close. I’ve only read L’Engle’s children’s fiction, and I enjoy it. But A Circle of Quiet was truly wonderful. I can’t choose!

4. Which [Alcott, Lewis, L’Engle] book would you recommend to any reader?

Alcott - Little Women to every female reader of any age.

Lewis - The Chronicles of Narnia to everyone.

L’Engle - A Wrinkle in Time to kids, A Circle of Quiet to women.

5. Which [Alcott, Lewis, L’Engle] book did you dislike?

I can’t think of any.

6. What is your favorite [Alcott, Lewis, L’Engle] quote?

I’m going to skip this one cause I’m too lazy to go look them up.

7. Which [Alcott, Lewis, L’Engle] book would you like to read next?

I’ve always wanted to read Alcott’s letters. I plan to read Surprised by Joy sometimes soon, and also the next of L’Engle’s journals - whichever one comes after A Circle of Quiet. It might be The Summer of the Great-Grandmother.

8. What biography of [Alcott, Lewis, L’Engle] would you recommend?

Jack’s Life by Douglas Gresham, C. S. Lewis’ step-son

9. Rate the ALL authors by order of preference.

L’Engle
Lewis
Alcott

Let me know if you decide to do this one!

Since we got rid of our DirecTV, I asked my mom to record Shrek the Halls on ABC last night. We watched it this evening. In the beginning, Shrek has no interest in Christmas. When he discovers that it is important to Fiona, he storms into town to find out how to give her a Christmas. He’s given a book called “Christmas for the Village Idiot” that explains, step-by-step, how to have Christmas. The last step is “tell the Christmas story.” I thought, Wow! A modern holiday special that actually includes the Christmas story? Cool! I should have known better.

You want to know what the Christmas story was? ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Now, I love the classic Christmas poem as well as the next person, but calling this the Christmas story? Later, when Shrek admits that he has never had a Christmas before and he doesn’t know what it is all about, his friends tell him it’s about celebrating with your family, no matter how chaotic. Celebrating what, for goodness sake? Christmas trees and Santa Claus and marshmallows on sweet potatoes. That’s what.

I suppose I was being naive in today’s politically correct world of “Happy Holidays” and “Winter Holiday Celebrations” to expect anything else.

It snowed six inches overnight. This meant very happy kids and one very stressed-out mama. We haven’t had a chance to get the studded tires put on my van, and since my regular tires are on their last tread, I was more than a little worried about getting to the hairdresser this morning. Well, we survived - though I did slide through one stop sign. Thank God, the UPS truck coming from the side had long enough to stop and didn’t hit us. And, thank God, I didn’t pee my pants when I realized there was no way my van was going to stop in time.

Natalie and I both got our hair cut, and we got home without further incident. Then my wonderful husband came home early from work and put my studded tires on for me. So now I won’t have to stay up all night worrying about getting to Natalie’s orthodontist appointment or the kids’ computer class tomorrow.

The rest of the day was spent in (very quickly) getting school done so the kids could head outside. It’s melting away rapidly, but that was to be expected. We usually get a little taste before the real winter hits.

Have you had any snow at your house yet?

(Land Before Time: The Wisdom of Friends was provided to me by Click Communications for the purpose of review.)

The three younger kids all enjoyed The Land Before Time: The Wisdom of Friends. (Natalie is getting a little old for Little Foot and friends.) I’ve always thought the best things about the Land Before Time movies is the music, and the same holds true with this one. Even though it must be the gazillionth sequel, this is still a quality kids’ movie with great music. Two new characters are voiced by Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Sandra Oh (from Grey’s Anatomy).

The underlying theme of this story is the “Wisdoms” - or as Cera calls them, the “Gotta-dos.” These are the things our parents and grandparents teach us that help us make our way through life. Little Foot and his pals get a chance to pass on these Wisdoms when they meet two goofy yellow-belllied Beipiaosauruses who are lost. These two have their own way of doing things and it works out fine for them. I’m not sure if there’s an underlying subversive message about moral relativism here, but if so, it went over my kids’ heads.

The boys all gave it five stars, and Josiah said he especially liked the part when they rode the rockslide down the hill.

The DVD special features include:

~Yellow Bellies on the Loose! Collect enough berries so the Yellow Bellies will stay in a group. The Yellow Bellies are out of control. They just can’t seem to follow Littlefoot’s ‘wisdom’ to stay in a group. The only things that seem to gain their attention are their love of berries.

~Yellow Belly Challenge: Help the Yellow Bellies find their way home in this fun interactive game! Loofah, Doofah and Foobie are eager to know what the right wisdom is for each of their dilemmas to help guide them home. Help steer the Yellow Bellies in the right direction all the way back to Berry Valley.

~The Hidden Canyon: An exclusive episode from the hit “Land Before Time” TV series.

~Sing-a-longs including the “Yellow Belly Bounce,” “How Do You Know”.

~Printable Coloring Pages

I started following author A. J. Jacobs’ blog after I read his book The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World, which was about his quest to read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica in a year. He accomplished his goal, though he’s quick to admit he did not become the smartest person in the world. When he announced on his blog that his next book would be about a year he would spend following the Bible literally, I was amused. Literally? There are many parts of the Old Testament that contain laws that, as a Christian, I am no longer bound to. Thank goodness. Although, I think the idea of leaving home every month during my monthly cycle might actually be a good one. But I digress. I looked forward to reading this next book by Mr. Jacobs, and purchased it shortly after it was released.

This book is funny, extremely interesting, and - oddly enough - very respectful of all faiths. Jacobs admits at the beginning of the book that he is an agnostic Jew - “as much a Jew as the Olive Garden is an Italian restaurant” is his exact description. He was uninterested in all things spiritual until he became a father, when he started to wonder if he was denying his son some of his religious heritage. So began his year-long mission to follow the Bible as literally as possible.

He started by compiling a huge list of all commandments in the Bible. Not just The Big Ten, but every portion of Scripture that commands us to do anything, or not to do anything. Needless to say, it was a very long list. He also visited various groups of people who follow the Bible literally - in their own way: the Amish, the Creation Museum, Jerry Falwell’s church, a snake-handling church. As Jacobs discovers, no one follows each and every part literally without exception.

What results is a witty, journal-like book. Along the way, we get to know his theologically-opposed aunts, his wacky guru ex-uncle Gil, and his long-suffering and extremely tolerant wife, Julie. We get to watch him work through the whole fatherhood deal (how protective is too protective?) and work through issues of infertility and the options it presents.

I may not agree with all of his conclusions, but I very much enjoyed going along for the ride. Even though I’ve read the entire Bible several times, I was reminded of some of the passages that we tend to gloss over, and I learned some things along the way.

4 out of 5 stars

Here are my favorite passages:

(From Day 2) Here’s my plan: In college I also learned about the theory of cognitive dissonance. This says, in part, if you behave in a certain way, your beliefs will eventually change to conform to your behavior. So that’s what I’m trying to do. If I act like I’m faithful and God loving for several months, then maybe I’ll become faithful and God loving. If I pray every day, then maybe I’ll start to believe in the Being to whom I’m praying.

So now, I’m going to pray. Even though I’m not exactly sure how to pray. I’ve never prayed before in my life, not counting the few perfunctory uplifted gazes when my mom was sick.

For starters, what do I do with my body? The Bible describes a multitude of positions: People kneel, sit, bow their heads, lift their eyes skyward, put their heads between their knees, raise up their hands, beat their breasts. There’s no single method.

Sitting is tempting, but it seems too easy. I’m of the no-pain, no-gain mind-set. So I settle on holding my hands outstretched like a holy antenna, hoping to catch God’s signal.

As for what to say, I’m not sure. I don’t feel confident enough to improvise yet, so I’ve memorized a few of my favorite prayers from the Bible. I walk into our living room, stand in front of our brown sectional couch, hold out my arms, bow my head, and, in a low but clear voice, recite this passage from the Book of Job: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

It’s a beautiful passage, but I feel odd uttering it. I’ve rarely said the word Lord, unless it’s followed by of the Rings. I don’t often say God without preceding it with Oh my.

The whole experience is making me uncomfortable. My palms are sweaty. I’m trying to speak with earnest intent, but it feels like I’m transgressing on two separate levels. First, I feel like I’m violating some sort of taboo issued by the agnostic high priests. Worse, what if I’m breaking the Third Commandment? If I don’t believe the holy words I’m saying, isn’t that taking the Lord’s name in vain?

I glance at the clock. I’ve been praying for only a minute. I’ve promised myself I’d try to pray for at least ten minutes three times a day.

So I get back to work. I squint my eyes and try to visualize Him. It’s a fiasco. My mind goes to a series of cliches: the Universe, aka the view from inside the Hayden Planetarium; a fog-shrouded Middle Eastern mountain; something akin to the multicolored special effects from Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, when the spaceship went into hyperspace. Pretty much everything but the guy in the flowing white robe and the basso profundo voice.

All I can say is, I hope I get better. p. 21-22

(From Day 198) If the desert is relatively empty (not counting the accumulating first-century detritus), then Jerusalem is the most packed place I’ve ever been. Every square inch seems drenched with people, history, and religion.

This afternoon, as I am walking along some twisty cobblestone streets of the Old City, I turn down a corner and witness what has to be the highest density of spiritual devoutness on planet earth. The scene is this:

Dozens of brown-robed, Franciscan Friars are slowly, solemnly walking the stations of the cross, their hands clasped in front of them. They are singing “Ave Maria,” accompanied by a single-speaker boom box strapped over the right shoulder of one friar. Another friar is swinging a miniature umbrella in the exact same way that altar boys swing incense lamps.

Then, slicing through the crowd of friars comes a family of Orthodox Jews. The father - his head topped by a brown fur hat the size of a manhole cover - leads the way, with eight Hasidic children trailing behind in single file. And, at that same moment, mingling with the “Ave Maria,” comes the Muslim call to prayer over a tinny loudspeaker. A man with a fez edges past the Hasidic Jew. All three Abrahamic faiths intersecting on the same street.

It’s an astounding sight. And it makes me feel more alone than I’ve felt since Project Bible began.

Here I am, a stranger in a strange land, away from my wife and child, in a city where everyone belongs to his or her own gated spiritual community. It drives home a disturbing point: My quest is a paradoxical one. I’m trying to fly solo on a route that was specifically designed for a crowd. As one of my spiritual advisers, David Bossman, a religion professor at Seton Hall University, told me: “The people of the Bible were ‘groupies.’ You did what the group did, you observed the customs of your group. Only the crazy Europeans came up with the idea of individualism. So what you’re doing is a modern phenomenon.”

I’ve loved that crazy European individualism all my life. To use author Robert Putnam’s phrase, I bowl alone, and I’ve always preferred it that way. It gives me more control, or at least the illusion of it. It’s made me resistant to joining anything. No frats, no Rotary clubs, not even the Kiss Army when I was a kid.

This year I’ve tried to worship alone and find meaning alone. The solitary approach has its advantages - I like trying to figure it out myself. I like reading the holy words unfiltered by layers of interpretation. But going it alone also has limits, and big ones. I miss out on the feeling of belonging, which is a key part of religion. I experienced this most keenly once before, during the biblical holidays of Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah back in October. I tried to do them alone. I fasted. I ate sweets. I sent portions to the poor. But I was doing it cluelessly and by myself, and it felt empty. I couldn’t even bring myself to write a chapter about the holidays, because I failed to wring anything approaching the proper level of meaning from them. And many of my more profound experiences have come when I’ve joined a group, even momentarily, whether that group be huge (the Hasidic dance party) or small (Amos, Julie, and I singing “Amazing Grace”).

Maybe I have to dial back my fetishizing of individualism. It’d be a good thing to do; the age of radical individualism is on the wane anyway. My guess is, the world is going the way of the Wikipedia. Everything will be collaborative. My next book will have 258 coauthors. p. 213-214

(From Day 290) Ever since my lying spree on the Falwell trip, I’ve recommitted myself to extreme honesty. In response, Julie has come up with a way to make my honesty more palatable. She’s started to ask me a singularly terrifying question: What are you thinking about? We’ll be walking to the playground, and she’ll spring it on me.

“Hey. What are you thinking about?”

I can’t just respond “nothing much.” I have to tell the truth, the unvarnished truth.

“I’m thinking about that rude guy at the Judaica store on Broadway, and how I should have told him, ‘You just became a villain in my book.’”

“Sounds like vengeance. Isn’t that biblically forbidden?”

Julie loves her new trick. It’s as if she’s found a peephole into my soul and can discover who she’s really married to, no deceptions. Or, as she puts it, “I feel like I’ve picked up a chance card in Monopoly.”

We’ll be unpacking groceries, and suddenly I’ll hear: “What are you thinking about?”

“Oh, business stuff.”

She’s not falling for that. “What business stuff?”

“That I wish I could time travel back to 1991 and buy up hundreds of internet names like flowers.com and beer.com and cabbage.com, then I could sell them for millions of dollars to the flower and beer and cabbage industries, and then I’d never have to work again.” (This is an alarmingly common fantasy of mine.)

“That’s the saddest daydream I’ve ever heard. Plus, that’s greed.”

She’s right. I’m wasting my time with greedy and angry thoughts. Not always, mind you. Sometimes, when Julie pops the question, I’ll be thinking about something noble, like the environment or our son’s future. In fact, compared to my prebiblical life, the percentage of brain space allotted to gratitude and compassion has inched up. But I still have way too many thoughts like this:

“What are you thinking about?”

“The Bible, actually.”

“What about the Bible?”

“The story of Esther.”

“What about the story of Esther?”

“Well…what it would be like to be the king in the Esther story and get to spend the night with each of the most beautiful women in the kingdom, like a test-drive or something, and then get to choose your favorite.”

“You’ve really evolved.”

In the last couple of days, I’ve been focusing on cleaning up my brain. It’s possible that God is monitoring my thoughts, but it’s certain that Julie is. So I’ve commanded myself to think positive thoughts. And today it paid off.

“What are you thinking about?”

“How lucky I am to have a healthy wife and a healthy son and two so-far-healthy babies.”

Julie pretends to gag. But it was true, that’s what I was thinking. (em>p. 291-292

(Wish Gone Amiss was provided to me by Click Communications for the purpose of review.)

Natalie’s review:

This DVD, Wish Gone Amiss, has episodes from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Hannah Montana, and Cory in the House. On each show, they make a wish on a shooting star and they aren’t careful of what they wish for. In each episode, something goes berserk.

On The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, they make a wish that they have super-powers. The hotel manager in the movie wishes the same thing, but he becomes a super-villain. Zack and Cody have to defeat him.

On Hannah Montana, Mylie wishes that she was Hannah all the time. Her life flips upside-down and she starts a whole new life. Mylie never existed, her friends Lily and Oliver were never her friends, and her dad was re-married. Jackson, her brother, got tired of all his friends wanting to get to know Hannah, so he became a hermit. Mylie has to figure out a way to get things back to normal.

On Cory in the House, Cory wishes that he was president so that he can do things his way. He thinks it’s all about the money and just getting to do what you want, but he figures out an important lesson: when you are president, you have a lot more responsibility. In the movie, there are these robots that are shooting down lasers to turn people into magnetic robots, and Sophie, the real president’s daughter, controls all of them. Cory has to figure out how to save the planet.

First of all, I like Hannah Montana. I like her singing and I like this episode. My brothers like the Zack and Cody episode because they have super-powers. I think people will like this DVD.

(Mr. Bean’s Holiday was provided to me by Click Communications for the purpose of review.)

At our house we are huge fans of the first Mr. Bean movie, Bean. The scene where Mr. Bean destroys the painting Whistler’s Mother makes me cringe and laugh at the same time. Rowan Atkinson is brilliant in whatever he does, but he will always be Mr. Bean to us.

In Mr. Bean’s Holiday, Mr. Bean wins a trip to Cannes at a charity raffle. He is ecstatic with the idea of a vacation at the beach, and heads off on his adventure.

As you can imagine, chaos ensues, including accidentally separating a son from his father, getting hired and then fired as an extra in a World War II film, and appearing in a film being shown at the Cannes Film Festival. The kids and I laughed our way through the whole film. You have to see it if only for the scene where Mr. Bean lip-syncs to Puccini’s “O Mio Babbino Caro.”

Best of all, this family comedy is rated G. It was perfect viewing for the holiday weekend.

Last night, I finished the second of the Thursday Next novels that Michelle gave me for my birthday. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to pick up next. I’m still reading The Year of Living Biblically, and it’s very entertaining, but I always like to have some fiction going, too. Then I saw Sherry at Semicolon’s Saturday Review of Books post come up on my Bloglines, and I was reminded that I still have two books to read before the end of the year to complete my Saturday Review of Books Challenge. So I took The Road to bed with me. Kevin was tired enough that he said it wouldn’t bother him if I read for awhile.

Around page two, my thoughts were something like this: I’m not going to like this book. But I’ll give it a little longer. What was that rule in Book Lust? Take your age and subtract it from 100. The difference is the number of pages you should give a book before you give up on it. (The theory being that the older you are, the less time you have to waste on books that you don’t like.) I just turned 35, so I’ll give it to page 65.

Around page 25, I knew I would finish this book. At page 122, as I wiped away the tears I wept when the father and son found the underground hatch filled with supplies, I looked at the clock. It was 12:45 a.m. I turned off the lamp, and proceeded to think about the book until I finally drifted off to sleep around 2 a.m.

I finished the book this morning. I’m still thinking about it; I’m not sure what to say or how to do a review. How Cormac McCarthy made me care so desperately for characters that didn’t even have names, I’ll never understand. I suppose that is what brilliance in an author is.

This book is a post-apocalyptic book about what our world would be like after a cataclysmic disaster, like a nuclear holocaust. The picture McCarthy paints is horrifying. There is nothing left alive: no livestock, no birds singing, nothing to eat. There are a few roaming bands of humans who have reverted to their animalistic nature, capturing any other people they come upon for the purpose of eating them. There are some truly terrible scenes in this book; it is very realistic in its depiction of what desperation and starvation will drive some people to do.

On the other hand, the father and son who are at the center of the book show the best of human nature. The father is close to hopeless, but because he has his son, he holds on to the last bit he can. They are carrying the fire, he tells his son. They are the good guys. The father is keeping himself alive for the sake of his son, and all the while his heart is breaking at the things his son is having to experience and witness.

I won’t say anymore, for the sake of not giving away the plot. Just read it. Have a box of tissue handy. And hug your kids. Hug them.

I’m going to take a hint from Melanie at The Refrigerator Door and call today Festive Friday. No getting up at the crack of dawn for all those sales for me. We slept in until 8:30 - it was glorious! After breakfast, we put up the Christmas tree and decorated the house, while listening to Christmas music.

Our Thanksgiving was wonderful. I survived doing the turkey. My stuffing, while a little too moist, still tasted good. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and the kids didn’t drive my grandmother crazy. Plus, my mom brought me a present. When we were growing up, this was one of our all-time favorite Christmas records (yes, records) to listen to:

My mom brought me The Roger Whittaker Christmas Album CD yesterday, and I’ve been feeling like a little girl full of Christmas anticipation. This isn’t a CD full of old Christmas favorites - they are all originals, most written by Roger Whittaker himself - but these songs mean Christmas to our family. (You have to hear Darcy the Dragon.)

Last night when I was saying good night to Natalie, she said, “I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because that Christmas feeling will start!”

I’ll leave you with a few words from Roger Whittaker:

Hallelujah, It’s Christmas

Look down, look down and see the world;
Look down and see the world rejoicing!
A child, a child is born today,
In peace and love, so raise your voices!

A time to learn from every child,
A time to give, a time to smile.
Embracing all in happiness,
A time to ask them for forgiveness.

So we sing:
Hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le
Hallelujah!
And we sing:
Hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le
Hallelujah!

Lead on, lead on and take my mind,
Lead me to greater understanding.
Of all the sorrow’s of mankind,
In you, a love ever-expanding.

To be content with what I need,
To live without a trace of greed,
To be a child once again,
And never, never more the same.

So we sing:
Hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le
Hallelujah!
And we sing:
Hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le
Hallelujah!

And so, and so the day is done.
The child once more peacefully sleeping.
The Son has set upon the world,
His watch of love peacefully keeping.

Have we just passed the time away?
Have we just lost ourselves in play?
Have we begun to live again,
Like children never more the same?

So we sing:
Hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le
Hallelujah!
And we sing:
Hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le, hal-le
Hallelujah!

Wishing you and yours a joyous and peaceful Thanksgiving.

My blog will be unavailable tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day, while Ron and Andrea perform some site maintenance. (They celebrated their Thanksgiving last month.) Check back Friday. And, thanks, Ron and Andrea!

(Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End was provided to me by Click Communications for the purpose of review.)

This past summer was the summer of the threequels: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Spiderman 3, The Bourne Ultimatum, and Shrek the Third. There was a lot of speculation about whether they could live up to their predecessors, and three out of four did. I liked the third Shrek, Spiderman, and Bourne movies better than the second installments in those series. Pirates 3? Not so much.

Don’t get me wrong - it was still a fairly entertaining movie. How could it not be, with Johnny Depp at his most wonderful as Jack Sparrow, and the ever-yummy Orlando Bloom. (On a side note, I just recently found out that he is 30 years old, so I can stop feeling guilty for having such a crush on him. I thought he was all of about 22. ) But a lot of the humor that was so terrific in the first and second Pirates movies was missing. And the plotlines - my goodness, how many were there? I had to keep pausing the movie to explain to the kids what was going on, and by the last hour, I gave up because I was completely lost. Who was on which side? I have no idea.

SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS MOVIE AND DON’T WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING, PLEASE STOP READING NOW!

I certainly hope that the ending was a set-up for another movie, and that they go back to the humorous roots of the first two movies. Leaving Will as the new Davy Jones, doomed to sail the seas for all eternity, only returning to land for one day every ten years? Come on, people. We romantics want a much better ending for Will and Elizabeth than that.

So, like Santa Clause 3, this is a movie that is good to have to complete the series, but doesn’t live up to the series as a whole.