Mommy Brain

My memories of September 11, 2001 are fleeting images, rather than a continuous recollection of that day. I was 7 months pregnant with our fourth child, Josiah – though I did not yet know if we were having a boy or a girl. My memories always occur in images or snatches of dialogue; I rarely remember all of a specific occasion or conversation. When I think of 9-11, here is what I remember:

-My mom calling me, her voice low and sober, asking if I was watching the news. She told me that two planes had hit the World Trade Center in New York City. At the time, I didn’t know what the World Trade Center was, but I turned on the news in time to hear the news that another plane had hit the Pentagon.

-Calling Kevin at work and asking him if he knew what was happening, needing to hear his voice.

-Natalie asking me why I was crying and why the building on TV was on fire. She was four, and I explained as best I could in a way that wouldn’t frighten her.

-Sitting in front of the TV, reaching over my pregnant belly to fold laundry. Watching people running away from the towers as they fell. Hearing the terror in reporters’ voices as they spoke of people falling or jumping from the towers. The realization that many firefighters were in the building trying to save lives when the towers came down.

-Thanking God that President Bush had won the election.

-Keeping the TV on constantly for the next few days. Crying until I had no tears left.

-Hugging Natalie, Noah, and Jonathan and thanking God that we were safe.

-Driving through town with the kids, Noah asking why there were so many flags. People’s somber faces. Signs everywhere reading, “God Bless America.”

-Our church full to capacity. Praying for our country and our leaders.

Those are my memories of September 11. Sixty-four days later, I lay in my hospital room after giving birth to Josiah by cesarean section. I remember thinking that he was born into a world much different than the world he had been conceived in.

If you are planning to share your memories of 9-11, please post a link at Rocks in My Dryer. You can find the “I remember” graphic there as well.