Mommy Brain

(I was given the DVD Pride and Prejudice free of charge by Special Ops Media in order to review it.)

I haven’t read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice yet - thought it is on my reading list for this year. After watching this beautifully romantic movie, I plan on starting it very soon.

Most of you know the story of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy, so I won’t retell it now. I want to talk about the movie. This was one of the most beautifully filmed movies I’ve ever seen. I know I was given the movie free of charge, but I think I’ve proven with my Mind and Media reviews that I try to go into any book or movie I’m reviewing with some objectivity. Trust me when I say this movie is beautiful. In so many movies set in England we are given the idea that it is always cold and wet, and never stops raining. Yes, there was rain in Pride and Prejudice. But there were also sun-drenched gorgeous scenes.

Mr. Darcy’s Pemberly estate on the “well-stocked” lake was particularly beautiful. And the scenes on the Bennett’s farm were quaint and charming. The costumes were very well-done, and so was the casting.

One of the special features on the DVD is HBO’s First Look at the filming of the movie. Keira Knightley, who plays Elizabeth Bennett, talks about how every girl or woman who reads Pride and Prejudice feels like she owns the character of Elizabeth. They have very definite ideas of what she’s like and how she should be portrayed. And in fact, when this movie was first released in the theaters, I remember reading on more than one blog that people were unhappy with the casting of Ms. Knightley as Lizzie.

Since I haven’t read the book, I didn’t have this experience. I believed Ms. Knightley as Lizzie - she portrayed her as very real, straightforward, and human. And Matthew McFadyen, who played Mr. Darcy, was equally well-chosen. Definitely a good pick. A handsome choice. Ahem.

The only casting I questioned as I started watching the movie was Donald Sutherland as Mr. Bennett. I’ve been watching Commander in Chief this season, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to see him as an English country gentleman. That fear was unfounded - after the first scene, all I saw was Mr. Bennett.

This movie is not only beautiful, it is suffused with romance. The scene where Elizabeth is standing in the field in the pre-dawn fog and Mr. Darcy comes striding toward her across the field, the wind blowing his hair… And then when they come together and he leans his forehead down to touch hers, and the sun rises behind them - I love moments like that.

I definitely recommend this movie to all lovers of Austen and all lovers of romance in general.

The DVD includes many special features, including a portrait of the Bennett family, a short feature about Jane Austen, and HBO’s First Look.

Visit the official Pride and Prejudice DVD site to view a preview, pre-order the DVD, see pictures of the production and see Behind the Scenes. The DVD releases on February 28th.

The Emperor’s Egg by Martin Jenkins
Jingle Dancer by Cynthia Leitich Smith
Alligator Baby by Robert Munsch
Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems
Mr. Putter and Tabby Pour the Tea by Cynthia Rylant
I Am by Eleanor Schick
The Donkey and the Rock by Demi
Altoona Baboona by Janie Bynum
The Toolbox by Anne Rockwell
My Pet Hamster by Anne Rockwell
How Do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food? by Jane Yolen
Ruby’s Wish by Shirin Yim

Grizzly Rescue, The Danger Joe Show #1 by Susan Schade
The Knight at Dawn by Mary Pope Osborne

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

In honor of Randi’s Friday challenge, here’s a list of things I did today that I wouldn’t normally post about. Sorry, no pictures - my husband is the digital genius around our house and he’s working today.

Today, I:

~ sat on the couch and worried that I would have another reaction to the antibiotics until I was so anxious I wasn’t sure if I was reacting or having a panic attack.

~ swept and mopped a kitchen floor that hadn’t been swept or mopped in two weeks.

~ cleared a space on our dining room table for Jonathan to do his handwriting. The table is completely covered - with school books, valentine’s cards that never got finished, crayons, pieces of Megaman and other assorted toys, piles and piles of school papers that need to be filed, etc. We haven’t eaten dinner on our dining room table in a long time.

~ yelled at my kids to stop yelling at each other.

~ walked past a stinky hamster cage umpteen times and thought, “I’ll ask Kevin to clean it tonight.”

~ added yet another two loads of laundry to the stack of washed and dried but not folded clothes.

~ sat down at the computer to blog instead of cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming the living room.

~ read my Bible this morning with my mind wandering and focused on anything but God.

As I read back over this list, I am so glad God is gracious. And I am so glad there are other ladies out there who will be getting real today, and I won’t be left half-naked all by myself!

And one surprising thing about myself? I have never washed a window since we moved into this house. I’m not proud, but that’s the way it is.

P.S. Someone found me today by googling “brain vacuuming alien”. Maybe that’s what happened to me!

When Kevin and I came home from our weekend getaway last Sunday, we brought home a surprise for the kids. One of these:

The kids have been talking about getting a hamster for about six months now. We thought it was just a phase, but it didn’t go away - and then they started researching and checking out every book on hamsters the library had. We realized they were serious, so we brought home a Syrian golden short-haired hamster.

Her name is Lucy - after Lucy Pevensie. Kevin and I named her on the way home so that we could avoid the issue of four kids wanting to give her four different names. I have to admit she’s pretty sweet. I’m not much of an animal person - never have been - but she’s good-natured and gentle. She’d been in the Pet Smart store for several months and was already accustomed to being handled and being around lots of people and loud noises. Her neighbor was a huge parrot that barks like a dog!

The kids are enamored. Josiah goes around the house saying, “Lucy is the smartest, best, most wonderful hamster in the whole world.” She is the best surprise we’ve ever brought home for the kids.

On the health front, I think I’m getting better. I have been feeling close to normal and then had a few bad hours this afternoon, with the shakiness and panic and nausea returning. It has since passed, and I am hoping that was the last of it. I’m exhausted and heading off to bed. Have a great weekend!

(The Witness was provided to me free of charge by Mind and Media, who received it from the publisher for the purpose of being reviewed.)

When I was packing for a weekend getaway with Kevin - no kids! - I knew that Dee Henderson’s latest novel, The Witness would be the perfect book to bring along. I wasn’t disappointed. Fast-paced, entertaining, and suspenseful, this book kept me hooked until I turned the last page.

The Witness is a romantic thriller about a woman named Amy who witnessed a violent murder. She goes into hiding to protect herself, her family, and the evidence she possesses. Her two sisters believe she is dead.

Fast-forward eight years. Her sisters have been thrust into the limelight and Amy knows that it won’t be long until the people pursuing her are pursuing them. Amy is forced to make a decision regarding her own desire to remain hidden.

Throw into the mix a heroic, handsome chief of police and two homicide detectives, and you have the ingredients for a fun, thrilling read. I have enjoyed all of Ms. Henderson’s books, and this one was no exception. If you like murder mysteries, thrillers, or romance novels, I highly recommend The Witness.

Barnes & Noble
Emporium divine
Oh, if all your treasures
Could only be mine

Biography, History
Sci-Fi and Lit
Gardening, Parenting
Humor and Wit

Row upon row
Of treasures galore
Cinnamon dulce lattes
Oh, what a store

One request I make
Since your books I will buy
In your restrooms
Could you please stock two-ply?

Kevin and I visited B&N when we were away for our weekend. Here’s our haul:

For me:
Good Grief by Lolly Winston
To America: Personal Reflections of an Historian by Stephen Ambrose
The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith

For Kevin:
Under the Black Flag: The Romance and the Reality of Life Among the Pirates by David Cordingly
A World War II book that I can’t remember the title of

For Natalie:
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle

For Noah:
Tale of the Toa: Bionicle Chronicles # 1 by Cathy Kapka

Update: I went to see my doctor this morning and he gave me a prescription for some more antihistamines. If that doesn’t work, steroids would be next. Please pray the antihistamines work - I don’t like the idea of taking steroids, what with all the yucky side effects. He said that the medication I reacted to can stay in my system for up to three weeks - it takes that long for the liver and kidneys to flush it all the way out. So antihistamines for at least one more week and then see how I’m doing. Thank you for all your prayers - and if you have time, a few more that the antihistamines work and my body flushes all the bad stuff out quickly would be so appreciated.

Two more articles up at Club Mom:

Confessions of a Semi-Organized Homeschooler
Dealing With Difficult Days

There is a typo (a misplaced comma) in the second article - I’m trying to reach editorial staff to get it fixed.

I’m off to spend some time with the kids - school and everything has been put on hold while I’ve felt so yucky, and I’m hoping to get back to a (sort of) normal routine. As normal as it gets around here, anyway. Have a great day!

Thank you for your prayers and comments. The antihistamine the doctor gave me worked well enough that Kevin and I enjoyed our weekend, but she only gave me enough for three days. Yesterday was the first day I didn’t take any, and I woke up at 2 a.m. this morning with a horrible reaction again: nausea, weakness, hives, and trembling so bad I shook the bed for 40 minutes. It took three doses of Benadryl to stop it. I’ve been on Benadryl all day today, which makes me feel groggy and loopy, but I couldn’t get into the doctor to get the non-drowsy antihistamine because the clinic was closed for President’s Day. Of course. Kevin was wonderful and stayed home today and dealt with kids and meals and such. My Dad’s on standby for tomorrow to watch the kids when I go to the doctor and if I have a bad reaction again. Continued prayers would be appreciated. I know that this will pass, but in the meantime I’m emotionally at a low. It’s quite an unpleasant reaction. Thank God, I’ve been able to keep the panic at bay and haven’t had any panic attacks today. I hope to be back to normal soon and will post more about our trip.

Kevin and I are heading out in the morning for our weekend get-away. Half of the kids are already at their friends’ houses, and we’re taking the other half in an hour. We’ll eat dinner here in town and watch a movie, and then head off to Spokane in the morning. I probably won’t post until Sunday evening or Monday.

If you’re the praying sort, I would appreciate some prayers on our behalf. I went to the doctor on Tuesday for this cough/sinus thingy, and she started me on some antibiotics for bronchitis. I am allergic to three different antibiotics, so she tried me on a sulfa-based one, which I’d never tried before. Well, I had a horrible reaction. Itching, panic attacks, shaky legs, muscle aches, nausea, and fever. My mom had a similar reaction to an antibiotic last year, so I called and asked what it was. Sulfa, of course.

Anyway, I’m on antihistamine to get rid of the allergic reaction, but I’m feeling pretty yucky. The panic attacks have stopped, but I’m feeling completely wrung out and still have a slight temperature. The doctor said there’s no reason to stay home, the rest of the drugs should be out of my system by tomorrow. But I’m also starting a different antibiotic to finish killing off the bronchitis. It’s one I’ve taken before with no problems - don’t know why we didn’t start with that one!

If you feel like sending up some prayers that this medication would clear from my system quickly, that I wouldn’t have any more panic attacks, that the other medication would work to fight this cough, and that my stomach would settle and we could just enjoy our weekend, I would so appreciate it.

I’m not one to find satan behind every bad thing that happens to us, but there seems to be a pattern. Last year before we went away for our annual weekend, I was diagnosed with pleurisy. Could be a coincidence, or it could be the enemy trying to keep us from enjoying the one weekend a year we take for a break from the kids and a chance to talk about and work on our marriage.

I’m so glad we have a God who is faithful, no matter what.

Thanks to Sparrow for the laugh this morning.

Edgar Degas was a French painter known for his paintings of horses and the ballet, as well as portraits of his friends. Degas was an impressionist, but unlike most of the other painters of this school, he preferred to paint from extensive preliminary sketches. Here are two of my favorites that are different from his most famous paintings of ballerinas:

Francisco Goya was a Spanish painter. His paintings were unusual for his time, in that he used his art to portray his feelings toward the Spanish civil war. As well as paintings of the war, he is known for paintings of bull-fighters and women in traditional Spanish dress. Toward the end of his life, he produced a series of works called “The Black Paintings” which portrayed fantasy, insanity, and horror. To be honest, it was hard for me to find any of Goya’s works that I liked, but after searching the extensive list of paintings at Art.com, I found two paintings of boys at play. In my opinion, if you looked at those next to his other works it would be hard to believe they were done by the same artist. Here they are:

Next up: da Vinci and Monet.

Art Appreciation #1

Kevin and I celebrated early. Friday night we went to a concert, where we saw these people play Celtic music and watched these wonderful dancers:

If you like Celtic and world music, you can download a few An Dochas tunes here. (An Dochas means “The Hope” in Gaelic.) I used to play worship with two of these guys when they were still in high school.

I am remembering as I type that I posted about their annual concert last year, which means I missed my one-year anniversary of blogging. After checking my past posts, I officially started blogging over at Live Journal on January 17th, but switched over here to Blogger on February 5th. One year of blogging. Boy, time does fly.

I’m trying to get over a yucky sinus/bronchial thing in time for Kevin and I to go away for the weekend. Thursday afternoon I will be dropping the kids off at various friends’ houses and then meeting Kevin for dinner. I’m hoping to talk him into seeing a movie here in town that night. I love going to the movie theater, but Kevin hates crowds, so the theaters down in Spokane (where we’ll be spending the rest of the weekend) are out. But our little dinky Colville theatre is rarely crowded - unless it’s opening weekend of Narnia!

Friday morning we’ll take off for Spokane for the weekend. Lots of reading, window-shopping, eating out, sleeping in, and talking (with no interruptions) will follow. I look forward to this every year. I am so blessed to be married to my best friend.

Posting may be hit and miss for the rest of the week, what with getting ready to go and all. We’ll be back Sunday afternoon. Any prayers you feel like sending up for me to get over this respiratory thing would be greatly appreciated!

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

As I read Joan Didion’s memoir of the year following her husband’s sudden death in 2003, this passage kept coming to mind:

“Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 NIV

Those words stood out in stark contrast to this section from The Year of Magical Thinking:

“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock. We do not expect this shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind. We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes. In the version of grief we imagine, the model will be “healing.” A certain forward movement will prevail. The worst days will be the earliest days. We imagine that the moment to most severely test us will be the funeral, after which this hypothetical healing will take place. When we anticipate the funeral we wonder about failing to “get through it,” rise to the occasion, exhibit the “strength” that invariably gets mentioned as the correct response to death. We anticipate needing to steel ourselves for the moment: will I be able to greet people, will I be able to leave the scene, will I be able even to get dressed that day? We have no way of knowing that this will not be the issue. We have no way of knowing that the funeral itself will be anodyne, a kind of narcotic regression in which we are wrapped in the care of others and the gravity and meaning of the occasion. Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief as we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself.”

I’m sure the emotions and experiences she writes of in this passage are common to people who have lost someone that close to them. In the passage in 1 Thessalonians, Paul doesn’t say “I don’t want you to grieve.” He says, “I don’t want you to grieve like those who have no hope.” It’s the last sentence in Didion’s passage that seems to be so hopeless: “…the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaningless itself.”

Although Ms. Didion considers herself an Episcopalian and her husband John Dunne a Catholic, she flatly states that she does not believe in the resurrection in the body. She has no hope of seeing her husband again. After being married almost 40 years, it’s horrifying to realize that your partner in life is gone and you will never be in their presence again. It’s surprising to me that more people don’t go insane from grief.

In Ms. Didion’s book, I noticed two main differences in the grief experienced by believers and the grief experienced by nonbelievers. The first is this hopelessness. If we are Christians, the goodbye we say to a fellow believer who dies is, in fact, a “see you later.” We have the hope of the resurrection, and that makes all the difference.

The second contrast I noticed is in the belief that grief must not be given into, it must be “handled.” I think I understand why. If you have no hope, it must be better to push the grief aside and not experience it. There is no hope, and therefore the grief would be heavy enough to destroy a person.

When my friend Beve died last year, we grieved. I saw people cry and laugh and then cry again. I didn’t get the sense that anyone was suppressing their feelings and just “handling” it. We knew that we could grieve and mourn and experience the loss of Beve’s presence, and yet that wasn’t the end. We weren’t sad for her. She hadn’t entered the “eternal dark” as Ms. Didion quotes her husband as describing death. Beve had entered eternal light! Knowing this - and that we would one day be there with her - gave us hope.

As I finished the book and read the last sentence, in which Ms. Didion mentions her belief that “no eye is on the sparrow,” I found myself sad for her. I don’t know her personally, but I pray that one day she will find the hope that is Jesus, and the knowledge that this life is not all there is.