Mommy Brain

One of the really bad things you can do to your writing is to dress up the vocabulary, looking for long words because you’re maybe a little ashamed of your short ones. This is like dressing up a household pet in evening clothes. The pet is embarrassed and the person who committed this act of premeditated cuteness should be even more embarrassed. Make yourself a solemn promise right now that you’ll never use “emolument” when you mean “tip” and you’ll never say John stopped long enough to perform an act of excretion when you mean John stopped long enough to take a sh*t. If you believe “take a sh*t” would be considered offensive or inappropriate to your audience, feel free to say John stopped long enough to move his bowels (or perhaps John stopped long enough to “push”). I’m not trying to get you to talk dirty, only plain and direct. Remember that the basic rule of vocabulary is use the first word that comes to your mind, if it is appropriate and colorful. If you hesitate and cogitate, you will come up with another word — of course you will, there’s always another word — but it probably won’t be as good as your first one, or as close to what you really mean.

This business of meaning is a very big deal. If you doubt it, think of all the times you’ve heard someone say “I just can’t describe it” or “That isn’t what I mean.” Think of all the times you’ve said those things yourself, usually in a tone of mild or serious frustration. The word is only a representation of the meaning; even at its best, writing almost always falls short of full meaning. Given that, why in God’s name would you want to make things worse by choosing a word which is only cousin to the one you really wanted to use?

And more:

In terms of genre, it’s probably fair to assume that you will begin by writing what you love to read — certainly I have recounted my early love affair with the EC horror comics until the tale has gone stale. But I did love them, ditto horror movies like I Married a Monster from Outer Space, and the result was stories like “I Was a Teenage Graverobber.” Even today I’m not above writing slightly more sophisticated versions of that tale; I was built with a love of the night and the unquiet coffin, that’s all. If you disapprove, I can only shrug my shoulders. It’s what I have.

If you happen to be a science fiction fan, it’s natural that you should want to write science fiction (and the more sf you’ve read, the less likely it is that you’ll simply revisit the field’s well-mined conventions, such as space opera and dystopian satire). If you’re a mystery fan, you’ll want to write mysteries, and if you enjoy romances, it’s natural for you to want to write romances of your own. There’s nothing wrong with writing any of these things. What would be very wrong, I think, is to turn away from what you know and like (or love, the way I loved those old ECs and black-and-white horror flicks) in favor of things you believe will impress your friends, relatives, and writing-circle colleagues. What’s equally wrong is the deliberate turning toward some genre or type of fiction in order to make money. It’s morally wonky, for one thing — the job of fiction is to find the truth inside the story’s web of lies, not to commit intellectual dishonesty in the hunt for the buck. Also, brothers and sisters, it doesn’t work.

Still more:

Stylistic imitation is one thing, a perfectly honorable way to get started as a writer (and impossible to avoid, really; some sort of imitation marks each new stage of a writer’s development), but one cannot imitate a writer’s approach to a particular genre, no matter how simple what the writer is doing may seem. You can’t aim a book like a cruise missile, in other words. People who decide to make a fortune writing like John Grisham or Tom Clancy produce nothing but pale imitations, by and large, because vocabulary is not the same things as feeling and plot is light-years from the truth as it is understood by the mind and the heart. When you see a novel with “In the tradition of (John Grisham/Patricia Cornwell/Mary Higgins Clark/Dean Koontz)” on the cover, you know you are looking at one of these overcalculated (and likely boring) imitations.

From On Writing by Stephen King

~ Last night as Noah was enjoying the first bounty from the kids’ veggie garden, Josiah said, “We should’ve planted “chocolate” tomatoes instead of “cherry” tomatoes.”

~ There must’ve been some mass grasshopper hatching (or whatever baby grasshoppers do) recently, as our yard is hopping with them. The boys must’ve caught a dozen or more in just a few minutes yesterday.

~ The mornings have been cooler, making me realize how close autumn is. I know summer’s not over yet, but the chilly floors when I wake tell me it’s soon.

~ Re-working our school schedule to include Jonathan, my kindergartener, I’ve begun to wonder when I will ever clean our house or wash our clothes. I suppose I could give up the hour I carved out for blogging in the afternoon, but a girl’s gotta have something that’s hers — know what I mean?

~ B.J. Hoff has posted Part 4 and Part 5 of her series on point-of-view.

~ I posted some other thoughts On Writing here, this time from Stephen King.

~ I just found out that Jonathan, my 5-year-old, thought Natalie and I didn’t — well, urinate — because we don’t have the same “equipment” he does. ~grin~

~ I went in for my CAT scan and bronchial provocation test on Wednesday. Due to some scheduling mess-up by a nurse, I only had the CAT scan. The other test had to be re-scheduled for next Wednesday. I’m not too concerned about that one — I’ll be very surprised if I have asthma. The one I’m (trying not to be) concerned about is the CAT scan that they did to see if “something” is obstructing my diaphragm. Now I have to wait for the results — probably not till Monday. I always wonder if doctors have any idea what it’s like to be the one waiting.

As I was reading over my last post on movies, I realized I gave the impression that we had some elaborate system for deciding which movies to watch. You know, like “This swear word gets minus 10 points” or “This good moral lesson gets plus 5″. It’s really nothing like that.

Like many of you who commented, we have given up on using the ratings system as any guide to what we will or will not watch. Kind of sad, but I think the ratings system is pretty useless. The ratings seem almost arbitrary. Case in point: we just watched The Clearing with Robert Redford and Willem Dafoe. It was rated “R” for violence, and yet I found it much less violent than War of the Worlds — and that one was rated “PG-13″. And vice versa. There have been many PG-13 movies that deserved an R for sexual innuendo, crudity, and/or nudity. (Starsky and Hutch, for example.)

As for my husband and I, we will watch anything G or PG rated. For R and PG-13, I check a variety of sources before we watch it. Yahoo! Movies has a Movie Mom’s review that will tell you what a movie’s content is. (Search for the movie title, then click on Movie Mom’s Review.) I also use Common Sense Media and Plugged In Online. There are many PG-13- and R-rated movies we avoid, if the rating is due to sexual content. Everyone knows that men are visually-oriented creatures — and women can be, to. No need to add to temptation in this area. We see scantily-clad women too often as it is — at the lake, at Walmart, and, sad to say, at church.

There are also many PG-13- and R-rated movies that we will watch. If the rating is due to action violence or historical content, we don’t have a problem with that. We do avoid anything with gratuitous blood and gore (I’m with you on that one, Ron!). With language, it depends. If every other word is profane, or there are particularly horrible, crude words, I won’t watch it. My hubby isn’t quite as discriminating in this area. But if the language is mild or in the context of the film, I don’t mind it. Let’s face it, we don’t expect an army drill sergeant to say, “Gee, darn” when something goes wrong!

Our kids are allowed to watch G and most PG-rated movies. There are a couple PG titles that my daughter has asked to watch, but after some research I’ve decided the subject matter is too adult for her. She’s only 8, she knows that the time will come that I will allow these movies. As for PG-13, if we think the movie might be okay for the kids, we watch it first. They have watched Spiderman. And I took my boys to see Fantastic Four. My boys would probably be fine watching Pirates of the Caribbean and The Lord of the Rings, but Natalie is more sensitive to “scary” things. I think boys (at least mine) are better at realizing this is just a make-believe world, where Natalie seems to empathize with the characters, and when they’re scared, so is she. There have been a few movies that Kevin has allowed the kids to see that I probably would’ve waited on, mostly due to language or action – such as Jurassic Park, but all in all we are in agreement. And my kids don’t swear, so I think we’re doing okay. At least, I hope so!

Christianity Today has posted an article that includes reader’s e-mails sent in response to this:

“A few weeks ago, our weekly newsletter cited a recent study about the movie-viewing habits of ‘religious’ Americans, noting that when it comes to watching R-rated films, there isn’t much difference between the religious and nonreligious. Interestingly, the same study noted that self-described ‘conservative’ religious people are much more likely to watch violent R-rated movies than ‘liberal’ religious folk.

That newsletter also asked for readers’ thoughts on R-rated movies, including what criteria, if any, you might use in making your choices. We also asked if any particular R-rated movies had affected you powerfully in any particular way. (Not surprisingly, many readers cited The Passion of The Christ in answer to that question.)”

So, what about you? What are your limits when it comes to movie viewing? Do you watch R-rated movies? How do you decide what to let your kids watch? Tell me in a comment, and then click over and read the rest of the article. The wide range of answers is interesting.

I’ll post tomorrow on our movie-viewing “system”.

I guess I’m a “real” blogger now, ’cause today I have been hit by endless comment spam. I keep deleting them, and then more appear. Any ideas on how to prevent them from showing up in the first place?

Jonathan’s prayer over dinner Friday night when Papa was visiting:

Dear God,

You are the bestest God in the whole world. Thank you for our food. Thank you for Papa. He really likes to play with us and grab us and make us laugh, as usual.

The End

Christopher Smith has a hilarious post about his daughter’s prayers over at Daddy On Board.

Over at Grace Notes, B.J. Hoff has been doing a series on point-of-view. Any of you who write — or want to write — fiction, and do it well, should definitely check it out. I’ve learned a lot already, and she’s not done yet!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Assayas: That’s a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it’s close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has his rank among the world’s great thinkers. But Son of God, isn’t that farfetched?

Bono: “No, it’s not farfetched to me. Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: he was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn’t allow you that. He doesn’t let you off that hook. Christ says: No. I’m not saying I’m a teacher, don’t call me teacher. I’m not saying I’m a prophet. I’m saying: ‘I’m the Messiah.’ I’m saying: ‘I am God incarnate.’ And people say: No, no, please, just be a prophet. A prophet, we can take. You’re a bit eccentric. We’ve had John the Baptist eating locusts and wild honey, we can handle that. But don’t mention the ‘M’ word! Because, you know, we’re gonna have to crucify you. And he goes: No, no. I know you’re expecting me to come back with an army, and set you free from these creeps, but actually I am the Messiah. At this point, everyone starts staring at their shoes, and says: Oh, my God, he’s gonna keep saying this. So what you’re left with is: either Christ was who He said He was — the Messiah — or a complete nutcase. I mean, we’re talking nutcase on the level of Charles Manson. This man was like some of the people we’ve been talking about earlier. This man was strapping himself to a bomb, and had ‘King of the Jews’ on his head, and, as they were putting him up on the Cross, was going: OK, martyrdom, here we go. Bring on the pain! I can take it. I’m not joking here. The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that’s farfetched…

Bono later says it all comes down to how we regard Jesus:

Bono: …If only we could be a bit more like Him, the world would be transformed. When I look at the Cross of Christ, what I see up there is all my s— and everybody else’s. So I ask myself a question a lot of people have asked: Who is this man? And was He who He said He was, or was He just a religious nut? And there it is, and that’s the question. And no one can talk you into it or out of it.”

From Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas by Michka Assayas

Christianity Today has posted an excerpt of a new book called Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas. The book is basically a transcript of many conversations with the author Michka Assayas, a friend of Bono’s. I’ve heard that he professes to be a Christian, and I’ve wondered what that means to him. Here it is, in his own words:

Okay, for some reason I can’t post the quote here or it makes the post too wide and my sidebar slides down to the bottom. So I posted it here instead. Same exact post, worked fine over there. Weird.

Since we don’t homeschool through the summer, I (stupidly) thought August would be a nice, relaxed month. Trips to the lake and the park. Free time reading. Getting all our relaxation and fun in before we start our school year. Yeah, right.

See, I knew July would be busy, what with Independence Day, my Dad’s and sister’s birthdays, and my three sisters coming to visit for a week. What I hadn’t planned on was August being even busier.

So far this month, I’ve been to three medical appointments — one for my sprained ankle, two related to this ongoing pleurisy/respiratory problem; planned and packed for a three-day camping trip; attended a community worship service; and (today) sang at a Christian Women’s Conference luncheon.

Here’s what’s on tap for the rest of the month:

~ friend and child coming over to visit tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon

~ Friday night or Saturday morning we will attend our local airport’s annual fly-in. People from all over the country with vintage and experimental planes — and everything in between — fly in for a weekend, including a pancake breakfast. The kids love the planes.

~ Sunday, the 14th, reception after church to say “goodbye” to my Mom and Dad. Mom has been the associate pastor at our church for several years and is now off to her first senior pastorate. I don’t really have to say “goodbye” to them, since their new church is only 20 minutes away and they won’t be moving houses yet, and even when they do — it’s only 20 minutes away!*

~ Tuesday, the 16th, I will attend orientation for the H.O.M.E. program.**

~ That evening we will go to Mom and Dad’s to celebrate Mom’s birthday. (Note to self: shop for gift!)

~ Wednesday, the 17th, I will spend a few hours at the hospital for yet more testing.***

~ Thursday, the 18th, worship practice at the church. (Note to self: call team members, choose songs, and make copies!)

~ Saturday, the 20th, all-day card-making party at the church. This doesn’t really count as busy-ness, cause it’s fun!

~ Sunday, the 21st, lead worship.

~ Monday, the 22nd, Jonathan has well-child appointment and vaccinations.

~ Tuesday, the 23rd, meeting for teachers of ladies’ Bible study to prepare for fall quarter.

~ Friday, the 26th through Sunday, the 28th — our two nephews, ages 3 1/2 and 1 will be staying with us while my sister and her hubby take a weekend to celebrate their 5th anniversary. For anyone keeping count, this means our household will consist of two adults, one girl age 8, and five boys ages 7, 5, 3 1/2, 3 1/2, and 1. Pray for me.

Ok, that’s the end of the month, but I also lead worship the Sunday of Labor Day weekend and the following Thursday we have our first ladies’ Bible study of the year. Plus somewhere in there has to be lesson-planning and purchasing for homeschooling, lesson-planning for ladies’ Bible study, and finishing a baby afghan before the baby in question arrives in early September.

I am not one of those people who thrives on busy-ness. I didn’t intend to get this busy — it all kind of sneaked (or is it “snuck”)**** up on me. I’m looking at my schedule for fall and thinking something will have to go. Possibly I will take a sabbatical from leading worship for at least fall quarter, until I am done teaching my quarter of Bible study — and possibly longer. I enjoy it, but I know there will be other seasons in my life where there will be more time for things like this.

As I look at my calendar, it’s very tempting to be overwhelmed. I’ll have to take one day at a time (easier said than done) and pray that “as my day is, so shall my strength be”. (That’s in the Bible somewhere, but I’ll have to find the reference later. Man, another “note to self”!)

*Please, no nasty comments on women as ordained pastors. Believe me, I’ve heard them all, and since my husband and I don’t believe a woman should ever be a senior pastor — and yet my mom is one — we’ve discussed this up one side and down the other. If you would like to enter into rational, reasoned discussion, that’s fine. I like rational, reasoned discussion. I don’t like personal attacks — of me, or my mom.

**Yes, after talking to some of the parents involved, and getting a more clear idea of what is required, we have decided to enroll our kids in the state homeschool program — with the understanding that if the requirements ever become burdensome or we are unable to teach our children in the manner we see fit, we shall withdraw. I’ll blog about my experiences, so you’ll have plenty of opportunity for a “told ya so” if it goes badly. ~grin~ But right now I’m choosing to see it as an answer to prayer in the financial area.

***Two rounds of tests back, the V/Q scan came back clear — no blood clots in my lungs — but the chest X-ray showed bronchial thickening. During my last test, my lung capacity test came back on the very low side of normal. This could be due to the fact that I’m overweight and my diaphragm is being restricted. But just to be certain there’s not “something” (read: tumor) restricting my breathing, the doctor wants a CAT scan. Also, I still have some wheezing that hasn’t gone away since my last upper respiratory thing — which is pretty normal for me — but he wants to make sure I’ve not developed asthma, so he’s going to do a bronchial provocation test. This is a wonderful test in which they have me breathe some nasty stuff and if I don’t have asthma, then nothing happens. If I do have asthma, it will induce an asthma attack. Something to look forward to.

****I looked it up — it can be either “sneaked” or “snuck”. So how come both of them sound so wrong?