Mommy Brain

The past two weeks have been insanely crazy at our house! I know I’m being redundant, but it seems appropriate. I have been counting down the days until Kevin and I leave (tomorrow!) for our anniversary trip. And in the meantime, I think we’ve been under attack. I hesitate to use that term — I hate it when people see Satan behind every sniffle and car problem. But when several things in a row happen that are so out-of-the-ordinary, I begin to wonder. Here’s what’s happened since last Monday:

• I’ve been sick with nausea, bloating, dizziness, shortness of breath for three weeks. Yesterday the shortness of breath accompanied chest pain and pressure, which is scary. Went to the doctor: diagnosed with pleurisy. Pleurisy! Isn’t that something out of a Victorian novel? He also drew blood to check blood sugar, thyroid, and cholesterol.
• Last week, I lost a diamond out of my wedding ring.
• Friday, the rear drum brakes went out on my husband’s van: $400 bill.
• This morning, my 5yo Jonathan woke up with an intense toothache. Our regular dentist was out of the office — of course — so I took him to another who prescribed antibiotics and said to call our regular dentist. I got ahold of him and he will see him tomorrow a.m. to look at the tooth and most likely pull it. Then we will be dropping him off at a friend’s house to stay the weekend with a couple from church who also have a 5yo. Please pray he’ll do okay!

This is crazy! I’m almost afraid to think how many other things could go wrong before we actually leave tomorrow afternoon. In the middle of all of this, I have been struggling with fear. I don’t normally think of myself as a fearful person, but this sickness that doesn’t want to quit has my defenses down. I keep hearing all the “what-if’s”:

• What if the doctor was wrong and it’s not pleurisy?
• What if it’s cancer? I think this is running through my mind because of just losing my friend Beve last week.
• What if it’s heart trouble?
• What if I’ve waited too long to do something about my weight, and now there’s something seriously wrong?

I know where these questions come from. Ironically, my women’s Bible study was just studying the verses in 1 John yesterday. The ones that say “perfect love casts out all fear.” I’ve been quoting it to myself like crazy. It’s very strange for me to be dealing with fear — I’m normally very laid-back and my husband’s the anxious one. This time the roles have been reversed and it feels strange. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated.

So anyway, I will be gone for the rest of the week — back on Monday. (Knock on wood.) I will post then and hopefully be reporting what a wonderful time Kevin and I had celebrating 10 years together!

Until then,

Carrie